Can I get that coffee grande with a side of graphic childbirth stories?

I am in Starbucks getting a coffee (so elitist I know) and some woman is yelling into her cellphone about childbirth. I love babies they are precious but what I dont love is a graphic play by play of how they come into this world. I feel like politely tapping her on the shoulder and saying,"excuse me mam do you have a napkin your phone call just made me throw up a little in my mouth." They should let this woman come into sex education classes, she is probably the best form birth control I have seen in awhile.

P.S Just so you understand, the word "rippage" was used three times. Not cool, lady, not cool.