"the best thing about a picture is that nothing changes, even if the people in it do" -Andy Warhol

"I hope you realize that all the problems between me and _____ involved you."

Bold. This was said to me the other day by someone I thought would be a lifelong friend. While I cannot go into specifics about the nature of the circumantces that lead to this, I want to make it clear I never intended by what I did or said to hurt anyone. And I have been thinking a lot about what was said to me and I can only come to one conclusion or better one question, why am I to blame for your problems? How can a third party be attacked for your problems? I try to keep my distance from this relationship as much as I possibly can, but it becomes quite difficult when aspects of this relationship are consistently brought to my attention. So, as a friend to the other person in this relationship what do I do? Do I tell them no I will not listen to the dissection of their relationship? Do I tune it out? Do I just have no reaction when certain things happen to cause this person pain? What do I do? And furthermore, all persons involved in this circumstance have been friends for over a decade. How can I remove myself from the tight group of friends just because two people decided to change their relationship? It is unrealistic for me to maintain a friendship like this. It is also not appropriate in the end to blame an outsider for issues on the inside. It is not my fault, I have every right to react to any information that is presented to me-good or bad. I don't think my reactions have an affect on this relationship, and am hurt to be the scape goat for these "problems."

Consider this:

People who hunt deer due to their over population, encroaching on “our” territory (our homes/property), in this situation what is the real problem here? Is it the over population of deer or is it the over population of people in the area?

This may seem like an odd question, but this is the kind of thing we were discussing in my Religious Ethics class today. We were considering the ramifications of unchecked population growth by humans. Is it right that as humans we can grow unchecked? What happens when land and food resources become so absolutely strapped that we just can’t give it to everyone? These are questions that are being faced today and if something doesn’t change it will get worse. Maybe in America it is hard to see these effects everyday, I mean, no one around me is fighting for food or land; however it is paramount to think about third world countries and the poor. The overuse and abuse of resources hits them very hard. Take for example, poor farmers in Brazil who have to chop down hundreds of acres of the rain forest in hopes of having farmland to survive. It is a tragedy that they are pinned between eating for a while and cutting down an invaluable resource that houses literally thousands of unique plants and animals. There are many people sympathetic to both sides, but which is right, where can we find a solution or a compromise? The answer to this question is very difficult.

Do we say that animals and plants are less important than people and therefore who cares, it doesn’t matter? As humans, who are we to decide the value of a creature or a plant both can provide many services that enrich our life. But on the other side, how can we deny people food and farmland, I can’t say if I was in their position I wouldn’t do the same thing. It is a very tight rope to walk and a viable solution that would last longer than a decade or two doesn’t come to mind very easily. Consider the ethics of ways to solve this problem, is it ethically and morally right to limit the number of children people can have? This could make families such as the Duggers illegal. But isn’t it hard to make this illegal when from the perspective of Christian families who value large families due to “be fruitful and multiply” message in Bible it is a command from God to have many children? Also it is ethical to know that some people will die if you limit their food and land accessibility but it could in turn save hundreds in the future. Who are we to place a value on a life? I think it is hard to say when there is so much to do on this issue, what is the right thing? Will we be able to find a solution that makes everyone happy or will some people, animals, and things have to suffer terrible loses? As my professor said, “if the answer to this question were easy, it would be solved already.”

I drew a lot of inspiration (and honestly, fear and a little anger) from the article we had to read for class, “Saving Nature, Feeding People, and the Foundation of Ethics” by Holmes Rolston III. It is a truly inspiring piece and I really do recommend it, it leads to a lot of thinking.

I know this doesn’t offer any solutions, but, I do think this is something important to think about because in the future this issue could turn into a major problem for our world. Just something to think about.

casper the unfriendly ghost.

I wish I could grasp the whole concept of, “who you are is not what you did.” Maybe it shows my immaturity in not being able to forgive and forget. I’d like to be able to forgive without looking for something in return. But when you forgive someone it lately seems it’s more of a silent pardon than a statement that will receive a sorry at the end of it. So I try to say, “it is what it is,” take a few deep breaths and move forward. Sometimes though, like old scars that itch or how the tissue under the scar sometimes hurts, you get reminded of the situation. I’ve been hung up on snide comments from one person for over a week. Instead of realizing that in actuality the comments were made with purely malicious intent it eats at me. I feel so bad sometimes for the people who get close to me. I feel like they have the burden of me not letting things go and letting negative past personal experiences color aspects of my reality. I feel like I can only supply them with so many explanations as to why I get so touchy or angry at things before they just look at me and say- I'm not them,I'm not him. I'm not that experience-buck up and move on.

But, I'm trying not to be a drag by posting this. I think what I'd like to use this more for is a reminder to take a pause and remind myself of the last part of the nursery rhymes sticks and stones, to realize that perhaps the acceptance of silent pardons is a great accomplishments, and to stop before I speak or think and remember the person before me isn't the person who hurt me.